Towards a Joyful Soul

One of the reasons that I decided to come to New Orleans was that the community ethic was "seeking God in the tension of sorrow and celebration." As a person who struggles with depression, I'm really good at focusing on the sorrow, without balancing it with celebration. That's part of the reason for the title of this entire blog page, "Towards a Joyful Soul." I hope that over my time in New Orleans, I will be filled with joy and learn how to find joy in the midst of sorrow. For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5 Personally, I tend to live on the inverse timeline. As one of my housemates says, "Everything sucks forever." My default mode is recognizing all of the issues in my own life and in society. Occasionally, something wonderful will happen and I will be temporarily happy, like going to watch the sunset with snowballs.

Simple living. Living an abundant life with less. That is one of the 5 core values of the YAV program. A few months ago, I would have compared this to the vow of poverty that monks and nuns take. Or at least made some implication that I would be poor for the next year. How wrong I was. How embarrassed I am to have had that understanding. How could I have been so naive and ignorant, especially considering the research that I did in school? Poverty isn't something that you temporarily choose to be a part of. Even though I am receiving a small stipend... I have a car to drive to and from anywhere that I want to go. I have the resources to evacuate if needed for a hurricane. I have a steady and reliable income every 2 weeks. My parents can send me the fancy dress that I forgot to bring for the fundraiser and an extra hubcap for the one that fell off my car. I can go to counseling regularly because my parents have offered to continue paying for that. Another family mem

In our society, life is so often guided towards achievements. In the past, I always had goals that would objectively measure my success. In my academics, I was aiming for high grades and ultimately graduation. In musical theatre, I was preparing for the next performance. In dance, I was practicing to win the competition. But as I was driving to work, I realized that there's nothing in my life that is directed towards a measurable goal. Everything in my life right now is simply heading towards nothing. I don't get a certificate of completion at the end of the year. I don't get any reward or consequence for how well or poorly I do my job. I'm not making enough money to be saving towards retirement or to support a family. I won't have a performance or competition for the dance classes that I'm taking. Maybe that is why a service year like this is so antithetical to social intuition. But what a blessing from God it is. I get to just be. I get