Towards Interconnected Joy and Sorrow

One of the reasons that I decided to come to New Orleans was that the community ethic was "seeking God in the tension of sorrow and celebration." As a person who struggles with depression, I'm really good at focusing on the sorrow, without balancing it with celebration.

That's part of the reason for the title of this entire blog page, "Towards a Joyful Soul." I hope that over my time in New Orleans, I will be filled with joy and learn how to find joy in the midst of sorrow.

For his anger lasts only a moment,

but his favor lasts a lifetime;

weeping may stay for the night,

but rejoicing comes in the morning.

Psalm 30:5

Personally, I tend to live on the inverse timeline. As one of my housemates says, "Everything sucks forever." My default mode is recognizing all of the issues in my own life and in society. Occasionally, something wonderful will happen and I will be temporarily happy, like going to watch the sunset with snowballs. But that then fades and I go back to my default.

During our first days in the city, Dan, our site coordinator, gave us the following poem to read.

Then a woman said, Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow. 

  

And he answered: 

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. 

And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. 

And how else can it be? 

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. 

Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven? 

And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives? 

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. 

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. 

Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.” 

But I say unto you, they are inseparable. 

Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed. 

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy. 

Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced. 

When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

"On Joy and Sorrow"

by Kahlil Gibran - 1883-1931

Dear Readers, I would love to know your thoughts. Are there times when joy is unconnected to sorrow? Are there times when sorrow is unconnected to joy? In what ways have they been inherently intertwined in your life?

During my time at Eden House, I have seen many moments of interconnected joy and sorrow. When a resident comes in with a breakthrough, we celebrate. But there wouldn't have been that celebration without the sorrow that necessitated the breakthrough. I have love for the residents, but I can only know them because they went through horrific experiences that made them eligible for our program.

I think it is a beautifully crafted and romantic idea, but am still hesitant about it. I get having a balance of both joy and sorrow and that joy and sorrow CAN be interconnected, but I'm not convinced they are inherently.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Hebrews 12:1-3

In this passage in Hebrews, I see Paul telling us that Jesus endured death on the cross because of the joy that he saw sharing an eternity with us. Paul tells us that we are to consider Jesus' suffering and sacrifice so that we may find hope, rather than discouragement.

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Romans 5:3-5

In this passage in Romans, Paul brings it even closer to us. It's not just about Jesus' suffering and eternity, but even our sufferings are directly connected to hope and God's love.

But when I think about my frustrations with a house mate who seems to be capable of nothing but frustrating me, I don't see love. When my mind is caught in trauma of my past, God knows that there is no joy there. When residents come in telling current realities for their families that involve prison and addiction and death, hope feels impossible to hold on to.

Honestly, my mind is blown every time I consider the interconnectedness of joy and sorrow. My mind cannot grasp the concept, yet my heart is not willing to put the idea to rest.

Dear Readers, help me. What does this look like for you?