Towards a Joyful Soul

Three years ago, my good friend went into ministry. Like I do, she had to build a support community. Like I do, she recognizes that there are multiple types of support necessary. At the end of her presentation, she asked me for various types of support: 1) pray, 2) give financially, or 3) connect her to others. I didn't really have the funds to give, but I felt bad saying no to everything, so I said, "I'll definitely pray for you!" In the last 3 years, I've prayed over her ministry probably about 4 times. As Christians, we very often use prayer as a strategic tactic. We use it to deflect difficult decisions and avoid  hard conversations . We use it as an excuse. How many people who told me that they will pray for me while I'm in New Orleans actually will? How many were just saying it to avoid an awkward ending to the conversation? How many times have you told someone you would "keep them in your prayers" or that you were "praying for

Thank you. You are my God, and I will praise you; you are my God, and I will exalt you. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever. Psalm 118:28-29 As a young child, my favorite band was Point of Grace. To this day, I still have their songs and melodies memorized. One song is called, "Do It Again" and here is the first stanza: Just when I think it couldn't be Any harder down here, Another blow comes out of nowhere And knocks me out again. And when I think I'm all alone, The phone starts to ring; It's just the voice I needed to hear On the other end. I used to think, "How cool would that be? If all of sudden the phone rang and it was a friend who told me exactly what I needed to hear in that moment." But I didn't really believe that that would happen to me. Not that I didn't think God was capable, but maybe I thought I wasn't special enough. But that's what happened today. Not once

How do you embody theories and theologies? How do you balance truth and grace? How do you try to bridge political differences? These are questions that I think God is calling me towards. These are questions I hoped to explore further in the coming year. Well, rubber met the road before I even turned on the engine to drive to New Orleans. Trigger warning: aggressive comments about abortion and homosexuality to follow As I was reaching out to raise support for my year as a YAV, I contacted a family that I knew from church growing up. I explained in my letter how I want to be a chaplain and I will spend the next year with the YAV program in NOLA before I go to seminary. They responded, saying that they would not donate to YAV because it is associated with the Presbyterian Church U.S.A. They wrote: "the PCUSA is no longer orthodox and now unrepentantly supports, and even promotes, sinful and destructive behaviors—taking the lives of the most innocent among us through abo

I HATE spending money. hate:  verb, feel intense or passionate dislike for When I was a sophomore in college, one of my friends accidentally broke my laptop. The repairs cost $500. When I gave them my credit card, I cried. I cried at the idea of having to pay for something so expensive. I cried at giving my money away. I didn't grow up poor, but I grew up in a frugal family. I developed an unhealthy relationship to money. I held it close to me with a closed hand. I would feel sick to my stomach each time I made a large purchase (over $50), even for necessary items like food. About a year ago, I decided to consciously work on being better at spending my money. * Life is about balance. I should be a good steward of the resources that I have, but being a good steward means spending and investing in the right ways. Now, I try to be more generous. Generous with myself, allowing myself to buy that lipstick that I don't need or the mango that is more expensive than an ap

As part of the YAV program, national volunteers need to raise $4,000 of support. When I meet with people I tell them that financial support isn't the only type of support that is important, so it's okay if they can't donate to me. Prayer for my mental stability in a time of transition and emailing me in response to my blog posts are also significant. The power of prayer is underestimated and so is the value of feeling connected and cared about. And those other types of support are also needed. But financial support is the only type of support that is quantifiable. That has a goal that I need to achieve. Financial support is a really significant part of the work of the church. Yes, prayers are powerful and community is important. But to build buildings or run programs, money is needed. By contributing financially, people are able to participate in projects even if they don't have the time or physical capability. It allows people locally to have a global impact.

Mutual Discernment. "We want to make sure the decision is right for you and for us." That is what I was told from my very first interview with the YAV program. I appreciate it. It means that they aren't just trying to optimize their operations without considering the humanity behind the human. I'm not just a cog in their machine. I'm a real, holistic person. But what does mutual discernment mean on my end? Recently, it has meant submission. Let me tell the story of my placement ( in YAV language this means the day-to-day volunteer job ): I looked on the NOLA YAV website and looked at their partners. One placement really jumped out at me: Okra Abbey . Okra Abbey is a community garden in a food dessert that is also classified as a New Worshipping Community (aka not a traditional church) . Working there would provide me the ability to help people access needed physical nourishment. Working there would allow me the opportunity to support people spiritu