Towards Balancing Identities

I just got back from Austria! I spent two weeks there with my mom, seeing family and friends, enjoying the mountains and lakes, and eating lots of good food!

Here are two things that I learned about in my time there:

1) Identity

For as long as I can remember, I've struggled to feel "Austrian enough."

I'm not visibly and identifiably different. I'm white, don't have a foreign accent, and grew up in the US so I don't have any super strange international quirks. Unless I tell people, they don't assume I have any other significant cultural heritage.

When I do tell people that I'm Austrian, they often interrogate me, making me prove it to them. Where you born there? Did you live there? Have you been there? Do you have their passport? Do you speak the language?

This last semester, my counselor and I had a conversation. It was clear that the acceptance of others was a vain pursuit. So aspects of being Austrian were important to me?

I could have chosen lots of different things: food, clothes, music, decor, etc. I chose language and connection to the land.

So I worked really hard this last semester to improve my German skills to a place where I could have intellectual conversations and intentionally took a bike trip in the Alps during my visit to foster that connection. 

I am glad to say that I have finally reached a point internally where I am not seeking others to affirm that identity. I am comfortable and confident knowing that I am Austrian and no one can take that away from me.

That is the same way that we should feel as children of God. Are you reading you Bible or praying or going to church because you want others to see you as Christian or because they are important to you in your relationship with God?

For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.
Galatians 1:10

2) Diversity

I love Austria. I love the mountains and the lakes and the fields.

But, after a couple days, each pictures ends up looking kind of the same.

Once, when someone asked me what I like about the US, I said that I appreciate how much diversity we have. In my time in Austria, I really missed that diversity.

Over the last few years, a lot of Turkish and Syrian immigrants have moved to Austria. Yet, as far as I can see, their cultures have not yet been able permeate the homogenous nature of Austrian culture.

Diversity isn't just about lots of different people being together but still being overpowered by one hegemonic cultural influence. Diversity is about letting new languages and dances and traditions and clothes and food seep into everyday life and seeing the beauty in it.

There are many ways that people in the US have a long way to go when it comes to appreciating other cultures. But, the fact is that this country is incredibly diverse and, as much as I love Austria (to the extent that I often idolize it), I'm really looking forward to living in a multi-cultural city. 

I look forward to it not only for my own enjoyment as a person who loves exploring different cultures, but also because the Kingdom of God is also described as diverse.

After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice, “Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!”
Revelation 7:9-10

Oddly enough, during this two week trip I felt both stronger in my identity as an Austrian as well as more confident in my placement and future in the United States. For the first time, I don't feel like I have to choose one or the other, but rather I can choose and be both in various ways.

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