Towards Unexpected Strength
I remember telling my kindergarten teacher that everyone in the class hated me and no one wanted to be my friend. I remember telling my 1st grade teacher the same thing, with a vague memory of my parents being called to talk about it. I remember at the end of 5th grade calling a high school student in my theatre company in tears because I had no friends. I remember being so nervous the month before going to high school that I could only eat jello.
As a person who has struggled with depression and anxiety, for the last decade I have been developing coping mechanisms for a life that felt constantly stressful, chaotic, and out of my control.
Sound familiar?
This pandemic is turning people's lives upside-down. There is added stress of possible infection every time you need to get groceries. There is chaos is many households as children are home from school or people are figuring out how to work from home. None of us have control over when this will end and we will be able to embrace our friends again.
The external realities of this pandemic are internal struggles that I've been facing for most of my life. In a weird way, I feel like my external and internal realities are finally in harmony.
On the other hand, I see my neurotypical friends struggling to figure out what they need for perhaps the first time in their life. They are thrown into a crazy situation without having developed coping mechanisms.
I wouldn't wish depression or anxiety on anyone, but in a way, I feel like I have the upper hand in managing this situation. Especially now, it's clear to me that self-awareness and intentionality is key in developing healthy coping mechanisms.
In my phone-call sessions with my counselor over the last month, we've spent a significant amount of time affirming all of the healthy ways that I am dealing with this situation and how well I'm doing. Immediately upon learning that I would be stuck at home for an indefinite amount of time:
I created a schedule to follow each day.
I set physical boundaries for where I would work and where I would be at home.
I set temporal boundaries for when I would work and when I would be at home.
I reached out to local friends to go for walks, to continue to exercise.
My housemates and I set written house expectations for this time.
I ensured that I could continue meeting with my counselor virtually.
I created a list of goals and activities to be done during this time.
In addition to that practical list of steps I took, I've continued to be intentional about my mental health. Mental health needs are dynamic rather than static, so it's important to be able to recognize how you're doing and respond accordingly.
I respond to my body's signs of exhaustion- sleepiness, crankiness, etc.
I communicate with my housemates about my needs- for space, for fun, etc.
I make an effort to stay grounded- in prayer and meditation, in what I can control, etc.
I reflect regularly- by journaling, by talking to trusted friends, etc.
I rely on my support system- my site coordinator, my family, etc.
If there's anything I've learned from myself and from the residents at Eden House is that people are resilient. There is strength in each of us that we don't know we have until there's no other choice but to tap into that well.
We will get through this pandemic. We will find unexpected strength even when our hearts fail us.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Psalm 73:26
As a person who has struggled with depression and anxiety, for the last decade I have been developing coping mechanisms for a life that felt constantly stressful, chaotic, and out of my control.
Sound familiar?
This pandemic is turning people's lives upside-down. There is added stress of possible infection every time you need to get groceries. There is chaos is many households as children are home from school or people are figuring out how to work from home. None of us have control over when this will end and we will be able to embrace our friends again.
The external realities of this pandemic are internal struggles that I've been facing for most of my life. In a weird way, I feel like my external and internal realities are finally in harmony.
On the other hand, I see my neurotypical friends struggling to figure out what they need for perhaps the first time in their life. They are thrown into a crazy situation without having developed coping mechanisms.
I wouldn't wish depression or anxiety on anyone, but in a way, I feel like I have the upper hand in managing this situation. Especially now, it's clear to me that self-awareness and intentionality is key in developing healthy coping mechanisms.
In my phone-call sessions with my counselor over the last month, we've spent a significant amount of time affirming all of the healthy ways that I am dealing with this situation and how well I'm doing. Immediately upon learning that I would be stuck at home for an indefinite amount of time:
I created a schedule to follow each day.
I set physical boundaries for where I would work and where I would be at home.
I set temporal boundaries for when I would work and when I would be at home.
I reached out to local friends to go for walks, to continue to exercise.
My housemates and I set written house expectations for this time.
I ensured that I could continue meeting with my counselor virtually.
I created a list of goals and activities to be done during this time.
In addition to that practical list of steps I took, I've continued to be intentional about my mental health. Mental health needs are dynamic rather than static, so it's important to be able to recognize how you're doing and respond accordingly.
I respond to my body's signs of exhaustion- sleepiness, crankiness, etc.
I communicate with my housemates about my needs- for space, for fun, etc.
I make an effort to stay grounded- in prayer and meditation, in what I can control, etc.
I reflect regularly- by journaling, by talking to trusted friends, etc.
I rely on my support system- my site coordinator, my family, etc.
If there's anything I've learned from myself and from the residents at Eden House is that people are resilient. There is strength in each of us that we don't know we have until there's no other choice but to tap into that well.
We will get through this pandemic. We will find unexpected strength even when our hearts fail us.
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